I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
