so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
