Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Randomize