i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
