I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
