Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
so let's talk penis.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
