may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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