I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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