Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
