we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
