so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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