Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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