just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
why do cheetos always look like penises
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
