nut hugger
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
