I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
