Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
tell me about the fingering
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
