I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
