i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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