I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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