Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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