Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize