how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You are a genius and a whore.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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