Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Randomize
