is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
My life is pants optional.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize