so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
