I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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