i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
