I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
