i think my mom watched the whole time
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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