My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
