Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
