You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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