Whoa Z and x make the same sound
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
