Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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