my vag is so smooth its legendary
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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