I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
