I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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