Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
