Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize