Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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