she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
