I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
