oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
