even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
