Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
