you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
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