i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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