therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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