Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
