I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
