I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
