We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
