His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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