I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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