Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
