I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
