Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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