I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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