I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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