I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
